Journal

ST. GERTRUDE

16 November 2010

ST. GERTRUDE THE GREAT OF HELFTA
1256 – 1301
FEASTDAY 16TH NOVEMBER

From The Herald of Divine Love by St. Gertrude

One day ... I went into our courtyard before prime and seated myself near the fountain.  I began to consider the beauty of this place.  It charmed me with its clear and flowing stream, the verdure of the trees which surrounded it, and the flight of the birds.  Above all, I loved the sweet calm of this place that is apart from everything.  I asked myself what would make this place even better for me.  I thought that the friendship of a wise and intimate companion, who would sweeten my solitude or render it useful to others, would do that.

It was then that you, my Lord and my god, who are a torrent of inestimable pleasure, not only inspired me with the first impulse of this desire, but also willed to be the fulfillment of it.  You inspired me with the thought that if I return your graces to you in continual gratitude, as a stream returns to its source, if I increase in the love of virtue, and put forth the flowers of good works like the trees; if I despise the things of earth and fly upward as freely as the birds, I can free my senses from the distraction of exterior things.  Then my spirit would be empty of obstacles and my heart would be an agreeable dwelling for you.

I was occupied with the recollection of these things during the same day when I was kneeling for evening prayer after vespers.  Before retiring to rest, this passage of the gospel came suddenly to my mind: If any one love Me, My word will be kept, and my Father will ove them and we will make Our abode with them (John 14:23).  At these words I perceived your presence in my heart, my most sweet God and my delight.  It would be purified from its dross and made less unworthy of your presence.

My God, since that hour you have sometimes treated me with sweetness and sometimes with severity, as I have either amended my life or been negligent.  However, i speak truthfully when I say this: even the most perfect amendment which I cold ever attain even for a moment or even for a whole lifetime could not merit the most trifling of graces that I have received from you.

Your overwhelming compassion helps me to believe that the sight of my faults makes you fear you will see me perish.  Thus, my faults do not incur your anger.  Your patience is supporting my defects even now, and with much kindness ...

Only once I felt that you left me ....Your absence lasted until the Vigil of St. John the Baptist when I heard the prayer of the Introit sung:  Fear not Zachary, they prayers is heard.  Then your sweetest humanity and unbounded love moved you to seek me in my disturbed state.

My mind still takes pleasure in wandering and in distracting itself with perishable things.  Even so, when I finally return into my heart after some hours, days, or even entire weeks, I still find you there.  I cannot complain that you have left me ever for a moment from that first time until this year.

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